Stand Up for Love

I really do not know how to begin this letter. I have written so much in my previous letters and yet, I can't still convey the messages that I'm wanting to tell you. 

It is of so much pain to me and it is killing me inside when we do not see each other or when we do not have any communication. I really can't help but cry sometimes. Especially when I was being constantly reminded that you 'loved me so much', and when the story of our past is being brought up. Believe it or not, if I could only take away all the pain that you are feeling right now, and instead, let me suffer with the entire thing, there is nothing that I would not do just to make things easier for you.

I can cry every night. I can sacrifice everything that I can. I can always be there for you. I can be anything that you need. But I am neither perfect nor near perfect. There were times when I really want to give up on us and move on with my life. There were times when I lose hope and wish that right then and there that things would become normal for me again, and have an ending to all those pains and hurt. You know that I am not used to standing up and fighting for someone. I am a coward. I am afraid of being hurt and hoping. I would just accept the breakup, move on and let you go. But there is something in me which helps me to get through this. It is my love for you.

I am still here because of our friendship, because I still love you and because I am still hoping that you are the one for me. I don't know how long I can withstand all these trials. I am trying my very best to hold on and never let you go, and sustain my love for you with all the good memories that we once shared. I really do not want to give up just yet without having a good fight. It is only you who could determine how long I will stay by your side, because you are my very reason why I am still here. 

You are my everything Michael. I know that somehow, there is still love for me remaining in your heart. Love does not die easily when it is pure. I really do not know how many love letter do I have write for you to forgive me and accept me. But as long as I have the strength to write one, I will always write you a letter. I would never want to forget you. I love you.