Broken Dreams

I am so sad. I have cried so much last night and yet, the pain still lingers here and sadness won't leave me alone. I am grieving for us. And I do not know why our love must come to an end. I know that I still love you so much, more than anyone I have loved before. It hurts me so much that I am moving on from a very important person in my life that I have no other choice but to give you freedom when I would really want to take hold of you. I lament for our broken future. You should have been my destiny, Remember the first time that we met, you prayed that hopefully I'm the one for you. I just don't know if I really am the right person for you or we have the right love at the wrong time. I was dreaming of spending my lifetime with you, walking down the aisle with you, saying "I do" to you in front of the altar, of getting married to you in Batanes, of having two children, of traveling around the world with you, of introducing you to my parents as the man who I want to marry someday, and of growing old with you. Now, all these dreams would only remain as dreams. I would never want to be married if you would not be my groom. I can't ask you to take me back and beg you to love me again. As you have said, we will always be brothers and sisters, bestfriends and confidants.

I do not know how and where I will start. I can't live without you. The pain seems to last forever. I don't like experiencing this so much pain and hurt that I would rather be dead. I don't know how I will be able to take it when one day you are already in love with another woman. I'm going crazy for loving you this much. I can't promise you everything except but to always love you with all my heart and soul. Though we did not get back together, I thank you for letting me love you without asking anything in return from you for three months. I just hope someday that would be enough for you to realize that I indeed loved you so much and a small hope still lives in me that you would be back in my arms again.

If friendship would be the most that you could offer, then I respect your decision. But if you ever change your mind, I'm just here and I would still love you. Every waking day, I pray that you would come back to me and start all over again. But love is not selfish. I don't want to hold you back if you no longer feel the same way for me. I want to give you all the space that you need to be on your own but at the same time, I'll be inches away from you just enough to catch you when you fall or pick you up when you are down.

I still believe that someday, somehow we will find our way back to each other again. For now, I can only hope. But if things do not work for us, I hope that you would still be happy. That you would have someone who can love you more than I did and more than I could, who would never hurt you and make you cry, and who would make you happy.

I will never forget the way we held each other's hand, the way we talked, the way we laughed, our intimate moments, the way your lips touched mine, the warmth of your hug, and all the things that I admire about you. You are indeed extraordinary. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are my prayer. You are my angel. Whoever you are going to fall in love with, she will be the luckiest woman ever.

Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for bringing out the best in me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for everything that you have done for me. I will never forget and appreciate for my entire life your efforts and sacrifices. And I am really sorry for causing you so much pain. I did all the ways I know to make it up to you. It those were not enough, I am sorry but I really tried my best to show that I do love you. I have said this for so many times, but I will repeat it here, I love you so much and I always will. I'll be here waiting for you. I love you dearly.